Friday, September 21, 2007

The Educational Wait

There I was in the most uncomfotable pair of high-heeled shoes, wearing formals (did I ever tell you how much I hate formals?) and walking along the streets of Phiadelphia.

No, not really. That just sounded really neat. So, anyway, I was walking in the scorching heat to get to the office where I had to be interviewed. Now, since it's the first time I'm running around for work and giving interviews, I'm just never sure if I'm appropriately dressed for the part. Ever felt that way? Well, yeah, so, I never really know if I'm under-dressed, over-dressed or perfectly-dressed for an interview.

And needless to say, this day was no exception. I was wearing a lavender colored shirt and a pair of cream trousers. And of course, the oh-so-uncomfotable black high-heeled shoes. Now, that according to me is formal and apt for an interview. And I'm sure a lot of people would agree with that. And even if they don't, I really, really think they're not picturing it right.

So...I got to the building and took the elevator up to the office. When I walked upto the receptionist to ask for the gentleman with whom I was to meet, I realized I might've been a little over-dressed. Sitting behind the desk was a plump-going-on-fat lady (only my initial impression of her), dressed in a black top that could only be called 'formal' if off shoulder has somehow entered this genre. She asked me to take a seat in the waiting area. The waiting area was to her left and, as luck would have it, every other seat was occupied, except of course the one which gave me a perfect view of...well, her.

For an incredibly long time I kept staring at my feet (which hurt like hell), at everyone else's feet (it's atually quite a lot of fun to check out other people's footwear), at the wall which had a board holding a few clippings of news paper articles about the company. After a while (they made me wait for close to 2 hours) I really had no where else to look except at the receptionist. And that, lemme tell you, was no joy! After my initial scrutiny of her, I realized that she wasn't plump-going-on-fa but more like fat-going-on-fattER.

I thought seeing her front profile was bad, but then I saw her side profile. And almost gagged. Her hair was, actually, quite nice compared to the rest of the package. Of course, there was the over-done face that we just cannot leave unmentioned. The color on them! That's the only word that pops up, I swear. The earings were much too bold for my taste, but then, I understand that that's a personal opinion.

I realized a little later that there was a lot more to the off shoulder black top than what met the eye initially. As she sat there at her desk, I saw the full extremes of her outfit. The black top merrily rode itself up her waist, leaving an ugly, disgusting tyre in public view. And if that wasn't enough, she decided to reach for her something in her purse which was kept underneath her desk. Now, i'm sure you can imagine the kind of effect that must've had on her already short top. The wrinkles!!! Oh GOD, them darn wrinkled tyres!!! They should sue her for public damange. I couldn't sleep that entire night.

I sat there scandalized, wondering if I'd have to go through this ordeal everyday were I to be recruited. And the worst of it all was that she was diabetically sweet. I mean, reeeeeeeeeeally sweet. She was talking to me like I was the last person on earth and that she'd die alone if I refused to talk to her! I was having a tough time trying to hate her. And she wasn't like this with me alone. This was her general way of talking. I mean, she talked this way with everyone who was waiting with me.

When I finally walked out of the office after my interview was over and done with, I waved her goodbye, went down the elevator, straight onto the street and called for a cab. Once inside, I took of my utterly painful sandals and swore to myself never to put my feet through so much trouble when an office hosts people like 'her'. Amen.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Obnoxiously awkward moment

Ever been in a situation where you look left, right, up and then eventually settle down with the floor? Man, I hate such moments.

Alright, so you're not 12 anymore and you're really not as embarrassed when you're watching TV with your family and suddenly there's a sexual scene or a lot of swearing. You're past the age when that is 'so totally the most embarrassing moment, like, EVER'. So, technically, you're a lot more 'mature', right? Right. Great. But...does it ever happen that you're out there, mature and 'macho' and all of that and then you land smack in the middle of a situation where you, well, end up with your eyes looking out for the tiniest speck of SOMETHING on an incredibly I-can-see-my-face-it's-so-clean floor, to concentrate on? Yeah...I had one of those moments a couple of hours ago.

Relatives. PHEW! They're exhausting. And one of my mom's cousins (along with his parents, wife and kids) just paid us a visit. His mom's my mom's aunt. Basically, उनकी mummy मेरी नानीजी कि sister हैं. And it just so happens that I lost my नानीजी a year and a half ago. It was extremely shocking to everyone since it happened quite suddenly. Now, these cousins of my mom's had come over to our house for the first time and I was basically giving my cousin नानीजी (?) a little tour of the house. Now she, let me add, is a lady who's well into her 60's. In fact, she's close to touching 70. So, anyway, moving right along...I'm taking her around the house for a little tour and I show her my parents' bedroom. And there, on my mom's bedside table is a photo frame with my नानीजी 's photograph. As I turn around to get out of the room to carry on with the tour, I hear a sniffle. First, I froze. Then, as I slowly turned around to face where my cousin नानीजी was standing I began to feel extremely uncomfortable, basically realizing what an awkward moment this was going to be. I saw her looking at the photograph, eyes filled with unshed tears and a lot of emotion. It's not very often that one sees so much emotion in someone's eyes, especially when looking at a photograph. Despite my discomfort, I tried to get some words out of my mouth that might be comforting. I'm not very good with tears, mine or someone else's, so it was a little difficult but I tried my level best. And then, realizing what I was doing (or maybe what she was doing), she grabbed her साड़ी का पल्लू, took off her glasses and began to clean an incredibly clean pair of spectacles, while never taking her eyes off of them! The tears in her eyes began to quickly dry and the clean pair of spectacles in her hands began to sparkle!

Smiling to myself, I put one arm around her shoulder and lead her out of the room, to the dining hall where the rest of the family was waiting for us.